Friday, July 24, 2009

Machines and Machinations - a fine balance


Machines and Machinations

a fine balance...

My Beloved has a love
of machines
with gaudy exteriors
and powerful thrums

I have absolutely no interest
in these machines
Instead I have a love
for the machinations
of the human mind and spirit

Over the years
we have developed a fine balance
Beloved indulges his passion
for vehicle nostalgia
by tenderly dismantling machines
bolt by bolt
panel by panel

and then
restoring each component
and lovingly reassembling the pieces
like a giant Meccano set -
He calls it 'his therapy'

My garage space
has been usurped
by two big metal beasts

on the other hand,
indulge my passions

for books,
and making
in other ways

but with equally the same
commitment and joy

We have come to learn
over thirty seven years
of marriage
that we can each follow
and satisfy our interests

support each other in their's
and come back to meet
in many other areas

This week
Beloved and son #1
have been as busy as bees
attending to final preparations
for their annual day
of fumes and noise
at the drag strip venue

in what is a now
a national event
that they created
called Mopar Sunday

It takes a lot of time
effort and focus
but provides much more
in terms of building a community
and sharing a passion

Although they have held this event
for six consecutive years
I have never attended

and Beloved knows
that I never will

We have an understanding -
we are free to follow
our own interests
where they may lead

and the enjoyment and the rewards
that we reap as a result
we bring back within ourselves
to our special togetherness

enriching our partnership
We have engineered
a fine balance

A Fine Balance

is also the title
of a book by Indian writer,
Rohinton Mistry,
which I heartily recommend



  1. i love this post for many reasons...the sentiment it expresses, the books to seek out, but mostly for the calm sense of peace it projects...beautiful.


  2. Hi Delwyn:

    I am wondering if we were separated at birth? :) As I read your post, I felt as if I were looking into a mirror. Bookshelves with identical books, and sprinkled with buddhas here and there. (I love Campbell, Jung, Yalom, Moore, Hillman, etc.) The description of a beautiful entente with a partner of many years who has different (even separate) yet valid interests. Right down to the little pieces of paper (bookmarks?) peaking out of some of your books - and if like mine - have notes scribbled on them. BTW, I also keep a book of quotations . . . What else . . . Oh yes, a sun room with wicker or ratan furnishings, a river outside your window, and I believe you also have a mountain view - as do I. That's why in visiting your blog I feel very much at home.

  3. Thank you Julie

    For much of that peace and harmony I need to thank Beloved, he makes room for it happen in his quiet unobtrusive way...

    Happy days

  4. Hello Bonnie, sister separated at birth...

    I love that... 5 authors in common, wow, we are attuned...

    and that's yes to all the mentioned commonalities except the mountain view, but I will do soon...

    I am glad we have met in the ether Bonnie...It is so good to meet someone with many of the same reference points... you then have a headstart with a mutual understanding and rapport...

    Happy days

  5. What a wonderful glimpse into your life, love, home, philosophy, family dyanamics, reading preferences, just one post! I had a big smile on my face all the way through.

    I, too, have enjoyed many of the books featured in your photos. It was surprising to see "A Gift From the Sea" there as I haven't seen or thought of it for years but it was a favourite of mine...longer ago than I care to think. But what is time? And isn't "A Fine Balance" a great book!

    Thanks for stopping by Ragzedge. It's lovely to meet you.

  6. Differences make life more interesting I think...and opposites do attract.

    "Gift from the Sea" is a special book for me...I loved it...and will gift it to my granddaughters in time.

    On your reccomendation of "A Fine Balance"...I will make sure to read it Delwyn!

    The restored cars are impressive, as was your use of them for the reflected image of yourself!

    Take care!

  7. PS. I'm adding a link to your blog from my Décolleté site. :-)

  8. what a loving and lovely piece of writing and photography delwyn!
    letting go of the fantasy of a mirror image in your life partner is one of the first and best learnings i think you can make. others would disagree. for me, it's the deeper synchronicities, the acceptance, the patience, and as you so beautifully put it, to be able to "come back to meet in many other areas". thanks for this delwyn. steven

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  10. BRAVO! Such a hard place for most couples to get to; such a soft place for love to continue to bloom.

  11. Delwyn, I have an older sister who loves cars as much as your husband. She drives a Camero and used to race cars. BTW, your husband's cars are fabulous! (Like y'all, I'll be married 37 years in September.) It does take lots of compromise and understanding...

    I had to chuckle perusing your books because I have all but one of the books you posted. (Great minds think alike, no?) I enjoyed reading "A Fine Balance". It was an amazing book. I'm a student of world religions and love the journey my studies have taken me on.

    I totally lusted after your little figurine of the Chinese scholar at the desk writing. It's so beautiful!!!! Thanks for sharing your heart. Blessings!!

  12. Delwyn, you have such a creative and artistic mind! This was a lovely presentation of duality in life. I found myself thinking of a book I mentioned to Dan: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He found his zen in doing just the things your husband does. What are those cars in your garage, btw? I'm pretty sure they're antiques; we have a '66 Corvette in our garage that looks something like the era of your Muscle Cars. And you look so trim in the mirror--I don't think you need upper body workouts! I find we have many of the same books, too, but what is A Net of Fireflies? Sounds intriguing! Poetry? Thanks you, Delwyn! xxox

  13. Morning Margaret

    How are you today?

    I have just hobbled over to the garage to check on the cars. The purple one is a Challenger and the yellow one has already gone...they are being loaded onto the carrier for the big day tomorrow. He only collects mopars and has quite a stable of them... He is taking about eight with him this time to show...The Chrysler company, amongst others, now sponsor his day so it has mushroomed over the years into quite a big event, with over 120 racing their mopars and thousands of spectators plus show and shine and the Chrysler exhibits... Oh what fun...if that is your cup of tea...

    and yes it is zen-like for him...he can while away many happy hours engrossed in sanding little parts back and repainting them...

    The mirror was the bonnet and the windscreen of the purple car...

    The net of fireflies is a delightfully presented anthology of Haiku with 'Haiku paintings', translated by Harold Stewart, Charles E Tuttle Co Publishers Vermont, 1960.

    have a happy day my friend
    Happy days

  14. Hi Marion,

    I hope it is a little cooler for you today. It is here...
    But no rain expected to dampen the Mopar Sunday tomorrow thankfully....

    I found the little inexpensive figurine in the Honolulu markets - you know the ones right on Kalakau Ave in Waikiki, about 30 years ago on one of my first trips there. The vendor told me it was Lee Pak Jang - a scholar, I must google him and see if he existed....I wrote the name under the figure...

    His joyful spirit appealed to me.

    happy days Marion

  15. Thanks Meri

    There is a lot of give and take and compromise in marriage but I feel it is also important to maintain your own identity and follow your own bliss.

    I have friends whose relationships are more enmeshed where they see themselves as a unit doing everything together agreeing on all their interests and activities. While it may work for some it wouldn't for me and I see it as a renunciation of the individuality, often at one partner's expense in sublimating herself to the other's more powerful sway.

    To me that is not love. To me love is doing everything to assist the spiritual development of my partner and myself whilst not at the expense of the other's growth.

    Happy days

  16. Hi there Aleks

    That would be very nice Aleks but until then let's keep chatting...

    Happy days

  17. Good morning Steven

    Yes it's that re-meeting daily that is exciting - fitting back together like a jigsaw...enjoying the closeness and the joining but knowing that you can be apart...and can follow your own well as be a part of the unit.

    When I was first married - very young - I became very disillusioned and I think it was just that, as you said...I was somehow expecting that I was going to be subsumed into this glorious entity where everything was oblivion...ha ha

    Beloved carried on as if not much had changed, in his quiet unassuming self contained way and I was left high and dry, wondering where in the hell I was...

    It took a while to realise that, while we had goals and plans and mutual interests and activities, I had my own life to make...

    thanks for your thoughtful comments...I always appreciate the effort...

    Happy days

  18. Hello Wanda, my green soul mate...

    My aunt gave me The Gifts from the Sea when I was young and I loved it then. It made me think a lot about being a woman and a mother and a separate person...Actually it complements this post very well don't you think?

    That's as close as I get to the beasts, see my reflection in them. I have never ever driven in them...
    I think I would feel a goose...
    Most are left hand drive, and many just for show so cannot be driven around the streets...the insurance would be excessive...the get trailered to events.

    Beloved's passion began very young. Before we were married we had a left hand drive Camaro in NZ and one day I was in a hurry to get to a Uni exam. On the way into town some road workers tried to flag me down and I kept on driving. When I stopped to make a quick deposit at the bank the car would not start again. The road workers had been trying to tell me the radiator was boiling and steaming... so I then had to run for 15 mins to make the exam on time...and I got a parking ticket for leaving the car there all morning...I wrote a nice letter and got off the fine which in student days would have been tough to find. I can't remember if I passed the exam...

    Happy days

  19. Hello Louciai /Lynne

    thank you for dropping by here. I am glad you found some common elements. I look forward to further chats with you. I am returning to read more of your lovely and inspiring blogs.

    I did track down the gifts from the sea to give to someone as a gift not too many years ago, but like you this one was given to me about 30 years ago...

    I love Rohinton Mistry's writing ...I am just looking for a quote of his but can't lay my hands on time...

    Happy days

  20. Good day, Delwyn. Nice to visit again!

    Your husband and son's passions remind me of my childhood. My dad was exactly the same as Beloved in his desires! My mother did not share the passion, so dad would take us four kids to the local drag strip each Sunday and give mom a break for the day. That she did like! In the meantime, my siblings and I learned to love the smell of gas, that it was OK to get greasy dirty in the pit, and to feel the rumble rush through our seats in the grandstand. (if Beloved is sharing, we had a '39 Ford Pick Up Truck, a '57 Studebaker Golden Hawk, and a '67 Pontiac Firebird.)

    But enough reminiscing...I totally agree with the idea that marriages benefit from two individuals who share common goals but remain independent in thought. My Darling's passions lie more in the outdoors and mountains. I like to tag along sometimes, but I also don't mind being left behind for a quiet weekend of reading, writing and solitude. Since we work together, some time apart is a good thing, too. My heart still skips a beat upon his return...

    Have a lovely weekend!

  21. Hi there Cyndy

    I will pass that info on to Beloved when her returns from loading up his cars. He will be interested...

    What work are you two involved in?

    I think you appreciate each other more with 'spaces in your togetherness' as Gibran said.

    Happy days

  22. What a beautiful way to talk about each other's passion and growth, and having freedom to explore without limits, and to share in each other's glorious joy.

  23. Thank you Rosaria for your thoughtful comment.

    It does allow more joy to be returned to the pair doesn't it...

    Happy days

  24. Hi, Delwyn,

    I don't know how, but I missed seeing this post entirely until Steven mentioned it today on his blog. I'll comment more fully later, but for now, I wanted you to know that my cousin is Dan Gurney, of All American Racers fame. I am sure your beloved and he would love to meet. Perhaps they have met. Here's a link to a photo of one of Dan's AAR MOPAR Cudas:


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