Friday, March 20, 2009

First Love


Blue Eyes - Yi Wen Seow

My youngest daughter is in the throes of first love.

Can you remember that

all encompassing feeling

where all else pales

into insignificance

And he/she is

the centre

of your universe

in each thought you have

and every breath you take...

Janet Frame the New Zealand poet and writer had this
to say about her first kiss:

It's in the mind
it's in the ear
it's at the base of the brain
the size of a pea
oh my Lord Omlette and Parsley
but I was kissed
Scrambled egg I was kissed
kissed buttercup and cathedral
for the first time
in my life...

Janet Frame, 1924-2004, was a complex woman who suffered greatly from mental health issues when treatment was either unavailable, inappropriate or barbaric.
The publication of her debut novel Owls do Cry saved her from a scheduled lobotomy.

Film producer Jane Campion adapted Frame's autobiographical trilogy material into her film: An Angel at my Table.

Janet Frame had a dramatic personal life history and literary output - poems, novels and short stories. Michael King wrote a biography of Janet Frame entitled Wrestling with the Angel.

I wonder how my daughter will, in time, reflect on her first love.

Yi Wen Seow is a young New Zealand artist found at



  1. What a beautifully scary and exciting time for her and for you. She will remember each and every detail of that first.

  2. Lovely post, Delwyn. :D

    Just quietly though, my girl is 16 next week, and I am TERRIFIED!!!

    You will have to be my mentor through her first love.....Argh.

    Blessings to your love sick sweetie.xx

  3. Lakeviewer, good morning this rainy day,
    One day I did mention the possibility of broken hearts in the future when we were discussing one of her friend's failed relationships and she was aghast that I should bring up the topic.
    I won't again, but I feel for her already...The end of first love can be a harsh learning curve...

  4. Hello Natalie, fortunately this daughter is nearly 19 so is relatively sensible and independent. I am happy to walk with you through any difficult or sensitive time that you may encounter in the future...

  5. Your daughter will be just fine because she has you as her mother.
    I have gladly forgotten many memories of the past but the memory of "the first kiss" I don't want to forget.
    I admire the woman you mention,just recently I watched a documentary on lobotomy, in those day's you where not safe from it, when something periodically went wrong with you they gave you a lobotomy,not to mention the way it was done.
    Her poem will stay with me for a while it is so pure and exactly the way it feels when you only can think about "that" first kiss.

  6. Mona,
    Hows your Friday going?

    Lakeviewer said a very wise thing recently (and I paraphrase) about a mother's love being the benchmark for measuring the depth and value of future loves in our lives, and I have been thinking about the veracity of that comment since.

    I think I was about 12 for my first kiss but those school yard kisses don't count. The first real one.... well....

    I have a funny story about getting a fat lip...I will tell you one day...

  7. Hi again!
    My Friday: having a good rest before I make an attempt to paint my table with crackle paint,i have this thing with old furniture,for some reason I like stripping it down from old paint but, we are a year later in time! and I am still sitting on this bare table!.
    Hope your Friday is good too.

  8. Rain tumbles above my head on a tin roof
    I sit in my study surrounded by other people's stories
    I have found my way through the mystic to the hazy moon
    Whereupon I have chanced upon your gentle garden blossoming with cicadas,sunsets and solitary crows.
    Your space - a gallery of fine art
    Thoughtful poetry and perfect pictures
    Inspiration to start writing again ...
    Memories of first loves and meetings with Margaret Olley, novels by Janet Frame, family happenings and eating hokey pokey icecream in beach houses in New Zealand.
    Amanda, your neighbour at Bodypump!

  9. Amanda,
    Well hello to you, and thank you for visiting. I hope you get into your writing - maybe start a blog of your own??
    Happy days

  10. So much to comment on this post.

    First love, first kiss, you never forget them. And even if the ones after taste a sweet or sweeter than that one, you will still hold it dear.

    Jane Campion. I thnk the name says t all. I saw 'An Angel at My table' many, many years ago, when there was a retrospective of Jane Campion's films in Cuba and I never forgot the feelings it awakened in me. The photography was beautiful, full of pastel hues and static scenes. Each shot was blended into the next one. Many thanks for this beautiful post. And I wish your daughter good luck.

    Greetings from London.

  11. Oh, Delwyn. This is a beautiful post, but it's not this post that I am commenting on. You know what I mean. And I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts today.

  12. Hello to you A Cuban in London.
    Sounds like I have brought back some memories for you...

    I might have to watch the film again now you have reminded me...
    Happy Days

  13. Country Girl, Thank you for your kind words.

  14. Love, love, love Janet Frame!!

    New young love is so special. Best wishes to your daughter.

  15. You once again have introduced me to someone new. Her poem electrifies! And regarding a child's first love, it's the waning of it that terrified me as a mother. Seeing your child in such emotional pain is agonizing because you can no longer put a band-aid on the boo-boo and kiss away the tears.

  16. Such bittersweet memories. I remember the heartache more than the lovesong.

    I'm still here, getting caught up.
    Did I miss something? I hope all is well with you. (re: CG's comment)

  17. Willow - thanks to you Janet Frame has been in my the base of the brain...

  18. Meri -hi to you, yes Janet Frame is worth following up. Yes if you read the comment I made to Lakeviewer you can see I fear the same ...

  19. Violet:
    I do too. Does that mean the pain has more power than the flame?
    Re CG : see today's post and thanks for your concern Violet.

  20. Something in the air. It is spring here, the time for lovers.

    What a fun time for your daughter.

    Love Renee xoxo

  21. Hi there blogger friend,
    yes she is revelling in it, they laugh and giggle in her room...ah so sweet...

  22. I remember that feeling so well, it feels like yesterday. Your daughter has a wonderful example of womanhood to follow.

  23. Hi Sarah Lulu, raining down there?
    You say the nicest things - thank you.

  24. Hello, Delwyn. Interesting that you should link the incredible bliss of first love to a woman with mental health issues. I was just reading that brain scans of people in love look the same as people with OCD. Remarkable, no? In the case of the lovesick, those feelings eventually fade, whereas they don't in people with OCD. I know I'd like to protect my own daughters from heartache when the time comes, but I wouldn't want to deny them the intense feelings of elation either. It's a tough thing.

  25. Hello Bella,
    I hadn't even made that link, I just had the words of Janet Framed burned into a recess in a corner of my mind and it popped up at the time...But that OCD link is very interesting.
    Thanks for the add-on


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