Thursday, August 27, 2009

Have you ever thought...


Just thinking...

Have you ever given much thought
to the kinds of relationships
that you are forging here
in the blog world

The connections that we are making
with what I call disembodied people
the way that we share our stories
and join with others around the globe...

Do you look for certain things
in a blogger
as you would in a friend
-perhaps a similar value system
or a similar outlook on life

Are some bloggers
destined to become friends
others acquaintances
and others still
ships passing in the night

Do you expect anything
from the blog relationships
that you have made
Do you wish for certain things
in these connections

I read many many blogs
but do not always comment
What makes you comment
on some and not others

One of Abraham Maslow's
fundamental human needs
is that of belonging
of connecting,
another is that of self esteem-
feeling valued and worthwhile

Do your blogging relationships
help you to meet those needs
or do blogging relationships
by virtue of being two dimensional
seem shallow and superficial
leaving you feeling needy,

Bonnie's post of 23/8
stimulated a thoughtful discussion
On re-reading the post
the following day
I summarised some of the comments
made by her readers
and submitted it to Bonnie
who suggested I might like
to post the summary

Bonnie reveals in her blog
that what she is looking for is
and depth,
and that she realised
if she was wanting to receive these qualities
then she must also be prepared
to give them too...

Bonnie says
to be real and meaningful
we need to take a risk
to share our fears and vulnerabilities
- to be authentic

here then is my comment to Bonnie:

This has been a great discussion and after re-reading it again this morning and reading all the wonderful comments a few words and ideas seem to stand out.

Firstly, blogging is a new way of connecting with others and we have to let it do what it does best in the way it does it and not expect it to be any other way...

Second, to feel connected with others we like to feel they are being real, genuine and sincere.
And therefore that is also what we need to offer them. We need to be authentic.

Thirdly, blog friends are not real friends so we cannot have the same expectations of them that we do of our real friends

Fourthly, some will disappear and we will never know why..

Fifthly, we can flow with the process and let it grow into what it can best be

Sixth, respect for others is just as important here as in real life, and we must hold the disclosures of others with respect and feel honoured that we are the recipients of that sharing

Seven, empathy and understanding and kindness cannot ever be overestimated...

Eight, sometimes we post a powerful story which attracts much interest and comment, other times we will post a regular entry but it would still be nice to have our efforts acknowledged because any posting does take time and thought and effort...

Nine, some people we meet we would sincerely love to know them as friends, some as acquaintances, and some as ships in the night, just passing by...there will be a range of connections as there are in the real world

And ten, above all else, we are learning more about ourselves through this medium and that must be good...

I know that Julie in Denmark
and Bee in the UK
have hosted blog camps
I wonder how much richer
these blogging relationships are
now that the campers have met
and shared in the real world

What do you look for
in a blogging relationship
Do you think that we expect too much
from blogging friends,
or are you happy to accept
and enjoy the company
that is offered in this way
through this medium

How satisfying do you find
these connections...



  1. Very rewarding. I try to be real and i think I SO am.xx

  2. This is a fantastic post, Delwyn--the best I've read in a long while. I know I'll be thinking about your questions over the next few days at least, and particularly as the Blog Camp 2.0 approaches :)

    I think I also look for authenticity in a fellow blogger and I myself try to be just that--myself--on my blog, rather than take on a role. And the bloggers I read the most are also the ones who I think could be my friends in real life so I guess that means a certain shared value system is important.

    Actually, you opened so many topics that it would be better to write a post rather than cram your comment box :)

  3. Hello Natalie

    It is so nice to see your lovely smiling face again. I hope you are feeling better now and regaining your joi de vivre...

    You are VERY real, honest and authentic Natalie and that is why we are so fond of you...

    Happy days

  4. Thank you Jelica

    I thought it could go either way...people wanting to add to the discussion and reveal their feelings or people remaining quiet ...

    That's a great idea to write a post, as this post was spawned from Bonnie's post I will pass the torch to you and you can continue carrying the flame...

    I think I will keep a list of values and qualities that people find important...

    Thanks for adding your ideas today Jelica. I appreciate your contribution...

    Where is the next blog camp, and do I assume that you are going?

    Happy days

  5. I've only been blogging since November and the experience has been a positive blog was to be a personal scrapbook and journal of sorts, but it has introduced me to a world beyond my own.

    I have no expectations of others or their blogs...just a willing to
    connect and take in what I may from their creation...there are levels of relationship that have developed for me...fitting with some like a puzzle piece from the start...some connections of giving and receiving have created close kinships.....while a few others I feel, have become a rapport of true trusting friendships...but, only time will tell I guess...

    but for now, I find the blogs I visit very rewarding...just like with favorite books, some you love more than others, but can't part with any!

    Smiles to you Delwyn,

  6. Thank you Wanda for your thoughtful response.

    It seems as if you have experienced differing types of rapport and depth to blogging relationships as you would in life... I like that you said giving and receiving build closeness and then trust. We need to share ourselves with others and feel a sense of trust for a relationship to deepen...

    'just like favourite books'...blogging is like that in more ways than one...we can keep going back and reading friend's blogs like a book and we can value them like a treasured book.

    I always called my special books 'my friends' because they have accompanied me through various passage in my life...and they make me feel warm and secure...

    Happy days Bonnie

  7. I follow several blogs, and I truly enjoy them. It is my connection to the world. I try to leave comments as I feel it is an acknowledgement of the person's effort.
    I blog for a number of reasons. I hope that my photography brings some enjoyment to others and I like to write to keep my mind in shape.
    When I get a new follower, I feel that my work is appreciated and I love to get comments. These two things are the only indicators that someone is actually looking at my blog.
    Although I have been blogging for quite a while, some of the aspects are new to me.
    I really enjoyed your post.
    Sunny :)

  8. Delwyn, you used two words that always resonate with me and are so hugely important in who I am and what I look for in others...authenticity and respect.

    I can know many people who are from different walks of life, different parts of the world, but as long as there is authenticity and respect I know I am in a good place.

    For many years as a young girl and a teenager I had pen pals, which was to me, the precursor to blogging. I met many of the people I corresponded with and I have met a few bloggers. Only once have I been "surprised" that the person I enjoyed on paper was nothing like she was in person. And yet, when I went back to look at the letters we had exchanged, she hadn't "lied" to me or been anything but who she was I who had made her be what I thought she was when I read the letters.

    In blogging I look for people who have something to say, something to share, and do so in an interesting way. Nothing needs to be fancy -- you can have the fanciest blog and have nothing to say...I look for truth in who the person is and the ability to connect on some level, which is different with each person I know.

    Lovely posts from both you and Bonnie today. And I thank you for your sweet, kind words on my post for today as well.

  9. I look for bloggers who are real, people blogging from themselves rather than ones that can appear to be blogging for web hits and followers.

    I comment on blogs I read as it's nice to let people know you have popped over it makes people feel they are not alone, that someone is reading and they have fond their post interesting enough in some way that they have taking their to to say something.
    We all love receiving comments so it's a nice thing to give them.

    I'm interested in making blog friends and I like it most when people communicate back and acknowledge me in some way (like responding to comments as you do here). I have no expectations on blog friends. Everyone has a real life to live and people who like my blog or want to chat to me will get to me when they can.

    I blog for interaction with other adults that I don't get stuck at home every night by myself when kids are in bed. Blogs are far more interesting than TV.

    A blog camp would be kinda cool to attend though.

  10. I've been thinking about this very idea quite a bit lately. I've been blogging since last October, and my blog and expectations about blogging have shifted several times since then.

    The one constant has been authenticity and honesty - in myself and in others. In the early days, my blog was more of a personal online journal, I didn't seek out followers and didn't comment on blogs I followed.

    As time went on, I found some kindred spirits and commented on their blogs. I've found many wonderful people this way, and several of them have become friends, of sorts. I think blogging, and any online social network, has created a new and different kind of friendship, akin to the pen pals people had years ago.

    Like in "real" life, online encounters run the spectrum from fulfilling to aggravating, meaningful to superficial.

    I just know that, for me, blogging has changed my life. It has given me access to people and ideas from around the world, something I would never have had the means to find without the internet.

    In blogging, as in life, I try to be kind and honest and sincere and at least somewhat interesting, and I look for the same in the blogs I read. Overall, it's been a positive experience for me.


  11. Because I was ill I missed most of the communal effort; I have actually been letting the thought of why blog roam around in my head, but haven't solved the riddle yet. I will continue to think and probably blog on blogging when I have come to a conclusion for myself. Thank you for summarizing the comments on Bonnie's blog, I can see that most of the points also relate to me.
    See you soon with the outcome !

  12. When I started blogging, I never thought that I'd actually meet any of my blogging buddies. But, I've met at least three new people in my locale completely due to my blog. One has become a good friend. What a surprise!

    I like your #10 - that we learn about ourselves through blogging. I also have learned to notice more things about my daily life because I might actually write about it.

    What attracts me to a blog? I agree about authenticity and depth. I like getting to know a blogger through their ups and downs. But, sometimes I feel self-indulgent "when I share my fears and vulnerabilities". Weird, now that I think about it.

  13. What a wonderful post!! I think I commented on Bonnie's post that day!!! Blogging is such an interesting thing. Folks do not understand the depth of emotion that is reached here. They think of it as just a chat place. It is so much deeper than that. Now and again I catch myself and feel a bit of fear..but I swallow it and move on. I have had a couple of folks very dear to me here just up and was disconcerting. Different than in real life.
    Wonderful post and facinating blog!! Namaste, Sarah

  14. Delwyn:

    Your thoughts expressed here are much appreciated - they are good principles on which to base our blogging efforts.

    I especially connect to your thought that we have to accept blogs for what they are and not expect them to do or provide what they really cannot.

    I, too, think it is an interesting way to document a life and we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves in the process.

    I love your collages interspersed throughout your text - particularly the one, "Do You Know What Drives You?". Beyond knowing the "why" of our blogging, do we know the inner motivation that pushes us to blog?

    Clearly from all the comments we are receiving, we are not alone in thinking about what it means to blog.

    Cheers, Bonnie

  15. First of all, this was a very thoughtful post on a very important subject.

    Blogging friendships are a new and unique form of relationship whose parameters are yet to be tested. I agree we need to have different expectations for blogging relationships than for more personal friendships.

    Some of the richness possible to a personal relationship is not possible for blogging relations, but that also, perhaps, frees us and challenges us to be more creative and more open and, perhaps, more honest with our blogging friends.

    I am very interested in how this all plays out over time.

  16. Delwyn, this is so thought-provoking! I like this medium, which initially surprised me, possibly because the first blogger that found me and commented was someone I would be friends with "in real life". However, as time moves on what amazes me the most is that I visit, and enjoy, the blogs of people who are completely "other" to me and who I would not naturally gravitate towards, our interests are so different. Why? I think the two keys for me are honesty and creativity.
    As to commenting - that's probably the thing I like most about the whole business!

  17. Wonderful post Delwyn! You were able to put into words what so many of us feel. I think what I like the most is how the sparks fly in all directions when someone writes a great post. It ignites other people's creativity and posts like this one come to being. I love people speaking with an authentic voice. There is no hiding behind a facade with this group.


  18. Oooh making me think.
    I started blogging because I am always on the lookout for something new to learn. Boy have I learned a lot. I continue to blog because I enjoy the camaraderie and am still learning a lot from these people. I will follow a new blogger to give them some encouragement. It can be a little lonely in the beginning.

    The thing I look for most in my blog contacts is a great sense of humor. These are the people I interact with the most.

    I have met 3 local bloggers and have found them to be just like they are on their pages. I have always been a good judge of character and my instincts have never let me down.

    Would I be friends in real life with all the people I follow? No not at all. Some would be acquaintances that I would know but not be having over for dinner.
    Others I would perhaps invite to stay in my guest room.
    I have one blog friend with whom I have become very close and we email privately.

    Some I read because although they are superficial I still enjoy some of the fluff. This is like looking through a magazine instead of reading a novel. Both enjoyable but for completely different reasons.

    Delwyn's blog is completely different than any of the other blogs I follow. I like that it is serene and thoughful. More like the novel than the magazine.

  19. Very nice post!! food for thought, lots to ponder here. I think I will copy it, so I can re-read it and see if I can figure it all out...the motives for blogging that is, the expectations hmmm...
    I don't think I pick the blogs I read, they somehow find me...just like the books I read...they just kind of pop out on the book store or library shelf...some blogs "talk" to me...yours is certainly one that provokes thought, that makes me realize that there are folks out there blogging that have something rich and meaningful to say that I need to hear.
    Oops..sorry...I am have me "chewing" on this already before I even copy it and re-read it
    Big hug

  20. You put a serious amount of time and effort into this post and I think its uber fantastic! So much to respond too...

    I did not start blogging with any notion of what it truly entailed. The first time someone left a comment I was stunned. My whole purpose had been to have a place to write and an ability to preserve the stories of our family. The bonus was the community of people who sprang up around it, and keep coming back.

    Yes, I am "writing on the script of me, daily" that has been in essence what has evolved out of blogging. And some meaningful relationships and a rich resonating reminder to stay present and capture the moment.

    Thanks Delwyn and Bonnie, some great synergystic work!

  21. Fabulous post, Delwyn, and great collages! I can't imagine my life without my blog friends.

    I've learned so much about Australia from you & Lisa and about Canada from Renee & Erin and India from Chandramouli. Too many to recall at the moment---Each person has their own style and hobbies: poetry, gardening, photography, art...the list is endless. My life is so much th richer with all of you in it! A beautiful post, Delwyn. Thank you for your kindness and generosity of spirit. Blessings!

  22. Delwin, these are serious questions and deserve accurate answers. Some people jump right into friendships; some take more time. I like many people I've met through blogging; but, they have their own lives, their own daily concerns; they may stop following me one of these days. No reason. Or a reason I will never know.

    Do I want more? With some people, yes. I do want to meet some of them; share more; visit in real life.

    Realistically, the closest person to me lives hours away. Even if we had a lot in common, our schedules and life styles may not be compatible.

    In my case, I am patient. I will let things evolve if they are meant to be.

  23. hi delwyn, when i started blogging i had an idea that i would begin to share what i valued. i did that for a while but i became conscious of what was valued by others and also by some of the "models" of blogs out there that had that candy-edged glitz about them that appeals to leo males, you know . . . acceptance, celebration, noise and fireworks. but i found that it was as empty as i knew it would be so i split the writing across two blogs. one for the outer world. one for the inner world. they were similar and my hope was that they would find each other and eventually fuse into one. it's happening as i write. pieces from the "inner" blog are migrating to the "outer" blog because i have become confident enough as a writer to share my vulnerabilities - to a point. i am learning about this world as i live, and the blogs are like flashlights in the dark sky of my learning - pointing the way and also illuminating my little learnings. some of them are messy and unformed. unsure enough that i don't recognize them as my own. others point clearly to the source.
    there's a third blog emerging into which these two might meld. it assumes a level of discourse that goes beyond what i am capable of in this moment.
    i don't want to write letters. i don't want to write journal entries. i don't only want to share what is immediately beautiful. i want to share what i know as deeply beautiful - which is sometimes worrying, frightening, ugly, beyond belief, beyond expression, stunning, real. i just want to be sure that when i share it, i pour real truth through the words and images. who knows what that might look like?!!!! exciting huh?!!!
    so there you are. steven

  24. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  25. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  26. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  27. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  28. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  29. Delwyn, you have asked many good and serious questions that deserve a thoughtfull response. I would like at least to touch back to you. I believe in, and have felt, from those I read that there is perhaps more honesty and openess in the blog world than in "real life" friendships. I also know that when I have been away from posts of blog friends I truly miss them, and wonder about their days and how things are going, and send well wishes silently their way.

  30. Delwyn - It's interesting. I don't "know" the bloggers whose blogs I regularly read, in the sense that we've never met. But I feel that I have more familiarity with the inner worlds of many of them than I do with my "real" friends, who are less inclined to share their vulnerabilities, their attempts to be authentic. I tend to read blogs of people with whom I feel a connection, would likely have as friends if we met. I like blogs that present me with new information (yours is tremendous for that); that always include images, since that enriches my experience; are smart, funny, well-written; show the nature of the writer and how he or she thinks. Authenticity, which other bloggers have mentioned, is a real draw. I love it when I read something and think, "AHA" or when someone comments to me that I said exactly what they needed to hear. I have said before that I think the internet is creating a web of connection that helps bring peace. The more we understand others and wish them well, the less likely we are, I think, to tolerate injustice and violence. At least that's my prayer. And like Jennifer, when my blog buddies are quiet for a few days and they've not prepared me for an absence, I wonder and worry and send thoughts their way.

  31. Hi Delwyn, me again. I think you deserve an award for doing all the work for this post. If you are not into awards, I understand. You can check it out on my blog.

  32. hi Delwyn~ Fascinating presentation of your thoughts interspersed with montages that open related doors. I've just come back from vacation (to the New Jersey shore), and that time away gave me a fresh perspective. There's a higher tone to the exchanges in the blogging world than in the real world. I think we are more thoughtful and reflective in writing to people who are also being thoughtful and reflective on their side. The outside world is more mundane: Is Wednesday bulky trash day? Your schol started this week? etc. I think a gift bloggers develop is grace, poise. I thought of Liss's statement, "I have no expectations of others;" my problem is that as in real life I try to live up to the expectations (real or imagined) of others. thus, I always try for the combination of tactfulness, courtesy, and genuine expression in myself. I feel I have learned these skills by the tact and lack of criticism that have been extended to me by other bloggers. It's a wonerful gift, and I thank all of you. To sum up, I am equally happy when my small ah-ha moments are acknowledged and when my naive blunders are forgiven and when I can reply in kind. That's a blogger. Much love

  33. Firstly: A communal thank you

    I am so impressed with the open, honest, thoughtful responses that you have all given to this topic and want to thank you all for taking the time and effort to explain your ideas and feelings.

    This has been a rewarding exercise in my blogging history and one which I feel has engendered a stronger sense of community, sharing and a willingness to be a part of ongoing experiment in trust and understanding via the sharing of stories, lives, interests and making of friendships in the blog world.

    I appreciate the contributions you have made and will now have a chat to you individually...

    Happy days

  34. Wanda

    my apologies for calling you Bonnie - I must have been getting too excited by the topic...
    you are both treasures...

    Happy days

  35. Hi Sunny

    I like that you talked of connections - with the outer world, and your willingness to give comments and encourage others...
    It feels good to be appreciated...

    Happy days

  36. Hi Sherry

    Your key words authenticity and respect are ones that echo through this theme...

    To make a connection with others we first have to put ourselves on the line to some extent and I feel that you do that through your open real conversations and posts...

    Happy days

  37. Hi Liss

    You see blogging as a way of connecting with others an also a form of entertainment as I do...TV holds nothing for me. I would much rather read of Barb climbing in the Colorado mts or Barry enjoying the Lovin Spoonful...

    It would be nice - maybe one day we could arrange something in AU...

    Happy days

  38. Hi Marion,

    did you see my baby dragonfly on my testing post...

    That is a good point that the blog world is a bit of an encyclopedia but with a human face... I like that...there is so much we can learn from each other...and not only learning of facts but of humanity, of interests and the machinations of the human mind and spirit...

    Happy days

  39. Hi Angela

    It looks like your blog experience has evolved and changed as you have met honest and sincere people who have shared their interests and allowed you to see other parts of the world...and also of the people you befriend...

    Happy days

  40. Hi friko

    I hope you are feeling better...thank you for stopping by to let me know that you are interested in the discussion and i look forward to a future chat...

    Happy days

  41. KB lucky you to have met some blog friends already...

    It is always a challenge knowing how much to disclose and who we can trust with our disclosures.

    I think that you are wise to be discerning and careful about whom you share what with - after all while this can appear intimate and supportive it is in fact a very public forum...

    Happy days

  42. Hello Sarah
    I think you are new to Qld so I extend a warm welcome and thank you for dropping by to share in what has become a very interesting discussion...

    That is an interesting point about the level of emotions revealed in blogging and perhaps the emotions that are triggered by posts and also engendered by the kind and supportive words of friends...

    I know that I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit expressed by friends.

    And yes people can just up and leave...we are being offered a different kind of experience of the universal abandonment issue...

    thanks for joining us today...

    Happy days

  43. Bonnie my friend...

    We do learn a lot about ourselves and the way that we approach life and also are encouraged to try new ways of seeing and being through our connections...

    and the motivation question is a whole new post!!!!!

    I agree and thank you for this opportunity to have a rewarding sharing of thoughts and feelings on this topic...

    Happy days

  44. Hi Barry

    I hope that you have enjoyed your break..

    The point you made about perhaps being more willing to be honest and open in blogging as compared to real life has come up a few times and is interesting to think about.

    Perhaps we risk more because we don't have so much to lose...

    In life our friendships have taken a considerable investment of time and energy and developed over a course of years, but here they almost seem immediate and if one blogger drops by the wayside, not interested in out disclosures, then it would seem that there is another 10 to take their place....

    Thanks for your thoughts Barry, I appreciate the additions...

    Happy days

  45. Hi Titus

    what jumped out from your comment was the idea that you love to visit 'others' - now I love that too and often tell my real life friend and my husband that this is one of the great things about blogging - that we can befriend people of an ilk whom we may never necessarily cross paths with in real life, and we can vicariously climb mountains, paint portraits or cook delicious meals...with them...and also entertain unusual lines of thought or manners of seeing life...that is fresh and exciting and broadens our minds, and enriches our lives...

    Me too

    I love the comment part...

    Happy days

  46. Hi Nancy

    I love your idea of sparks of creativity flashing around the blogosphere - because that is just so...this post for example was triggered by my response to one of Bonnie's posts, and then suggested in turn by Bonnie after reading that comment...and so we feed off each others' ideas and energies and creativity -- so good....

    I think we easily see through facades...or we take the posts of those writers for what they are...and enjoy them that way...But I have to say I have encountered very few posers in my short blogging experience.

    Happy days

  47. Hi Lori

    You make a good point about trusting our instincts and intuition as to the sincerity of bloggers and also about the different depths of blog stories - and we can take what we need or enjoy at the moment...

    thank you for your kind remarks Lori...

    Happy days

  48. Hi Rita

    thanks for joining in today...

    I love it when a new person drops by and seems to fit right's like a energy expended in the finding...a falling star maybe...

    I will enjoy hearing your thoughts after some rumination....

    Happy days

  49. Wonderful post! First of all the collages you created to illustrate the post are just stunning. I know others have remarked on them, but they deserve recognition as the jewels they are.

    You've also raised many topics worth much pondering. Probably too much to adequately tackle in the comment section.

    I think none of us really knows what sort of relationships we're forging here and how the compare to or relate with flesh-and-blood relationships. I remarked on Bonnie's blog that blogging is like penpals on steroids in that we can so easily append photos, videos, and links to other websites.

    Speaking for myself, I started my blogs to serve my **actual** relationships. My kindergarten blog is written for the parents of my classroom and other kindergarten teachers--some of whom I know personally.

    MindfulHeart began as a blog for family members who live far from here and for my Buddhist sangha, people I know and meet with in my home.

    Because blogs are public, they can be looked at by ANYONE and that's always in the back of my mind as I write. I don't want to be as open and honest online as I would be speaking privately in person with a close friend. And, unexpectedly, people from far away, people I've never met began reading, commenting, and developing relationship. These relationships seem to satisfy the need to connect and belong that Abraham Maslow talks about. But the fact that they're online relationships makes me remember they're perhaps more perishable than regular friendships.

    As with all relationships, empathy, decency, compassion, and good manners all play an important part.

    I can say I do feel very grateful for blogging and the friends like you that it's brought into my life.

  50. Hi Vicky

    Thanks for your supportive comments..

    I like that you began to write with no expectations in mind and how the blog developed a life of it's own...

    From your comment I have latched on to the importance of staying present and capturing the moment...
    it is a pervasive reminder...

    Happy days

  51. Hello Roasria

    thanks for your honest comments...they reminded me that sometimes I feel a little bereft after doing the day's blogging and I think what you have said explains it - we would like to deepen some of the lovely connections that we have made, but it is unlikely, in most cases, to happen....hence we can feel something of a loss...sometimes I feel discouraged, like it's all not real, and I am living a lot of my life in a fairytale world of make believe...but then I remind myself that it is just 'different' and that the nature of blogging - the brevity and its intrinsic limits do not necessarily diminish its value...

    thanks Rosaria

    Happy days

  52. Hi Steven

    I became a little concerned not to find your smiley face first thing this am but guessed that you are either preparing for school or have begun school.. I used to love those few days of school preparation - all the fresh ideas and resolutions...the new books - a clean slate...

    Now your comments are so welcome and thoughtful...

    I read your 'golden fish' as a great balance between the outer and the inner worlds and congratulate you on allowing your emotions and deeper feelings to show through your choice of topics and through your story writing and the valued comments that you make...

    that takes courage and a willingness to show parts of yourself that may at other times be hidden...

    All of your posts tell us in colour and light more of who Steven is, and what moves you, what interests you, and we love don't need to try and show us anything else but yourself...what you post is perfect...just be yourself - that is ample...entertaining, stimulating, educational, touching and rewarding...

    I think that what you write and share now is honest, sincere, real and allows us to connect with you... and we are glad...

    Happy days

  53. Hello 6 Jennifers !!

    Now that is really interesting and I touched on the idea with Barry in a comment above...

    it's true
    I do miss you...

    Happy days

  54. Hi Meri

    That is interesting about the levels of connection we feel and I wonder sometimes if it has something to do with the absence of all those filters we put up that act as barriers when we meet new people in the real world...

    you know the: I don't like how she dresses or wears her hair, or she speaks too loudly, or is too overt and energetic - all those visual cues that we are not privy to here so that when we do meet here we go down to a deeper level and with people whom we may have dismissed as not potential friends in real life....

    Hmmmmmmmmmm that gives me more to think about...

    thank you my old and valued blogging friend...

  55. Hi Delwyn, Your art is fascinating and draws me into it. Obviously, from all the comments, you've raised an interesting question here about blogging and expectations. When I visit blogs, I read carefully and pay attention to the photos or the art. I try to offer a thoughtful comment because I usually find something to appreciate. If I continue to visit certain blogs, I have established some kind of connection - a feeling of kindred spirit, perhaps. Sometimes I just admire a person's gifts of writing or perhaps photography. I gain something valuable from their posts. I know blogging has expanded my world. I am quiet and private by nature - perhaps blogging allows me to be a slightly more outgoing person!(Obviously, it has made me more wordy!)

  56. Ahh Hello Bonnie again

    I don't know about that - maybe a little relief for the RSI induced by writing all these comments....

    Thank you for the lovely gesture, I appreciate your generosity and thank you for your friendship

    Happy days

  57. Hello Margaret

    thanks for adding these valued comments. Yes we do share on a different plane to the everyday world, there is far less prattle and "How's your Hydrangeas" as I like to call it...

    Perhaps due to the confines of a blog we learn to become more succinct and sparse with out words and also we need to maintain the attention of readers so can't ramble on willy click and you are gone...

    That lack of commitment is the fickle aspect to blogging that concerns me...we can get turned off in an instant..and in some ways it feeds that unhealthy drive we have bee learned for instant gratification... I know sometimes I tell myself to slow down and concentrate on the writer, and give them time and thanks for their efforts, instead of rushing on to the next post in the list...

    I like that you feel your blogging compatriots are accepting and gentle with you...there does need to be a respect paramount in all of our interactions...

    Happy days

  58. Dan

    thank you

    that was a lovely comment for me to read at the end of this marathon response to comments session that I have just completed.

    It is interesting that some of us are watchful of being too open and others feel that they can be more open.

    I agree that all of those interpersonal values that we hold dear in real life should find their way into our blogging too and it we are being true to ourselves and acting with integrity they will...

    Thank you too for your valued friendship - you are one of my very first blog friends...

    Happy days

  59. Hello Barb

    firstly thank you for the collage comments I appreciate those words.

    Secondly being a visual person I am very like you and enjoy a blog far more when accompanied by imagery...

    Thirdly I am a bit of a recluse myself, I love my own company, so empathize with your feelings of branching out and extending your horizons through this blogging manner...

    and lastly I agree with you that like any friendship once we feel a connection then we work to make a friendship and like a marriage it requires continual input...

    thanks Barb for your thoughts today, now after writing 30 odd replies I need a cuppa...

    Happy days

  60. Delwyn,

    I came upon your blog via Nancy at Life In The Second Half. I'm so glad Nancy recommended you!

    Thank you for the thoughtful and thought provoking post. I will ask myself the questions you pose many times over the course of my own postings..

    Have a great day.


  61. Yes, we are forging something new and exciting. . . .something important. It is an important part of my life...Blogging, who knew? Lovely post.


    Comfort Spiral

  62. I've been bloggin for less than a year. I began it as a way to bridge my private journals with the desire to write publicly. Perhaps to publish a memoir. For years, friends have told me others might want to read my story. With blogging I am learning to share what is hard, what hurts, what has moved me in my life, but to do it in a way that I hope does not jar unnecessarily. Writing what is ugly... to do it with love... that's part of what I want to do. I find such inspiration in other people's courage and in their ability to write me to TEARS. In the visual artistry as wel..

    I've found that I needed a small break, but have relished catching up. And now I have found new voices from which to learn.

    This is a testing ground for writers, I think. But it is also a meeting place. I care about the people who are brave enough to give us a glimpse into their souls, their lives, their dreams. I do not expect anything of bloggers...

    EXCEPT KINDNESS. I have yet to be disappointed in that. And in this world today? How miraculous to be finding such kindess in this virtual world where so many feel there is a license to be rude. I've not seen it even one time. Sorry. This was long. thank you for the beauty of YOUR blog.

  63. Hello Jeanette
    welcome to my little world and thank you for stopping and adding your thoughts on this topic.

    I agree with you wholeheartedly ...Kindness goes and awful long way...

    Happy days


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